A simple reminder that confidence does not mean believing that you are perfect, or thinking that you can go the rest of your life without making any mistakes. Confidence is never to be confused by arrogance.
Confidence is having faith in yourself, knowing you have the power to make your own choices each day. Likewise, it means having the strength to forgive yourself even when you make mistakes, because you know you are capable of growing and becoming a better person than you were yesterday.
Don’t let the word “confidence” intimidate you any longer.
There’s no better way to build you own confidence than to place trust yourself in every step you take.
I finally read the infamous series I heard so much about.
My family told me to read it, every lifestyle blogger alive told me to read it, my dog told me to read it, even my my neighbor yelled over the fence, “You have to read this book!!”
I may be exaggerating a bit- but the point is, I heard a lot about the series before I finally picked it up for myself. For some reason, my very stubborn personality works in strange ways. Sometimes the more I hear about a book, the lessI want to read it.
Despite this, the main reason I was so reluctant to read it was because it’s common for the reputation to precede books in this genre, and I couldn’t help but convince myself that this would be the case.
When I got stuck on a five hour flight I decided I would give it a chance, and to my surprise I couldn’t put it down.I was pleased to discover that The Voice Of Knowledge lives up to all of the praise.
After reading it thoroughly, I felt enlightened and refreshed with a more positive perspective on life. On some days when I’m feeling particularly stressed or negative, I find myself reaching for the book again.
Reading The Voice Of Knowledge took me on a walk down memory lane, reminiscing over the joy I experienced as a child before I let the the opinions of others affect my self image.
Any young adult will thoroughly enjoy this book because I’m sure we can all relate to Don Miguel Ruiz’s experiences growing up in a fast paced world. As he mentions in the first book of the series, so many of us let the opinions of others define our worth.
At one point Ruiz remarks that you must read his book multiple times in order to catch some of the details you missed the first time, and this definitely holds true. Depending on what your current situation is, you can apply lessons learned in the book to your own life.
Ruiz’s work in The Voice Of Knowledge stands out to me for his ability to take such a complex topic, finding inner peace, and breaking it down into a way that any reader can understand. Ruiz draws inspiration from toltec wisdom and applies it to the modern world.
There is a certain simplicity to the book that makes the message even more powerful. Ruiz stands by the “one simple truth”, inspiring readers to stay their most authentic selves. Ruiz motivates readers bytelling them to take control of their own happiness again and embrace every little thing that makes them different.
Anyone who reads the first book of this series will take away so much knowledge, and get a step closer to a peaceful mind.
Now if you haven’t read the book yet- I’m adding myself to the list of people who recommend it.
Thank you for reading as always. Have you read any of Ruiz’s work? Let me know in the comments!
For many of us, happiness is something we chase every day of our lives. Our own definitions of happiness are described by a list of achievements and assets we desire to call our own, and even after we reach these goals, the list seems to reach beyond infinity.
It means having the ideal body, obtained by endless hours of pushing ourselves to the limit in the gym, followed by scrutinizing our bodies in the mirror until we find something new to ‘fix’.
It means creating the perfect facade in our online profiles to convince our family and friends that we are living our absolute best lives. Sometimes we do this by posting pictures from last years spring break with the biggest smiles on our faces, or by flaunting how insanely in love we are with our significant other.
It means landing our dream jobs, often because they have higher salaries, and the feeling we get when we can finally say “Look, I made it!”.
We tell ourselves that it will not hurt to chase these goals and successes, certain that once we reach the next step we will finally be happy and content with ourselves. Just one more pound, just one more time, just one more day spent doing something we don’t want to do in hopes of creating a better future. Certainly there’s nothing wrong with pursuing any of these goals- in fact, a great sense of pride can be accomplished in working towards a better version of ourselves. This drive to better ourselves is what we need to keep ourselves moving.
The problem is that in constantly finding things to change about ourselves, our definition of happiness becomes perfection. By thinking that what we have in the moment is never enough, we are condition ourselves to think that we can never be happy in the present moment.
This is when it becomes necessary to draw the line between maintaining a healthy amount of motivation and chasing an unrealistic state of perfection. Because obsession with the distant future plants a seed in our mind that is difficult to uproot. It leaves us in a constant state of unease, trapped by the belief that we can never be happy by simply loving ourselves and our lives for the way we are now.
Sometimes it takes stepping back and assessing our current situation to realize what is worth pursuing, and why exactly we want to pursue these goals. Are we seeking change because of an intrinsic motives, or extrinsic motives? In other words, is it because it will bring us joy- or because we are seeking validation from others? Once we identify the true reasons we want to change, we can determine whether or not it will provide us with long lasting happiness.
The best way to find happiness is to stop associating it with perfection, and start associating it with peace of mind. The peace of mind that comes from knowing that it is okay for each of us to move at our own pace and choose the paths in life that we wish to take. Is is not until we learn to accept ourselves and our current condition, flaws and all, that we can finally be happy.
A reminder for anyone going through the process of recovery.
“People are always telling me that things will get better soon,” He said. “But I’m tired of waiting for change.”
That day, my friend confided in me that he had not been happy for a long time. He was growing impatient in watching others living their lives and making progress while he remained stuck in the same, endless cycle of self-doubt. Because no matter how hard he tried, he said, things just weren’t getting better. He thought that after he finally got past the hardship he had faced that it would be over. Yet the process of recovering itself proved to be much more difficult.
I know that feeling. Finally reaching a finish line, making it to the top of the mountain, only to find that there is still another mile left in the race. While I wish I had a simple answer for my friend that day, there is no simple solution. The advice I wish I could have given that day is something that you must take with a grain of salt. But the truth is, for anyone on the journey to recovery, it that you aren’t going to heal in a day.
Because healing isn’t always waking up and feeling the sun on your skin. It isn’t always a quick or simple process like we want it to be.
Sometimes healing is putting down the phone for the last time and accepting that you shouldn’t let that person back in, no matter how much the memories are pulling you back. Sometimes healing is pushing yourself to open the curtains and face the world despite the people who tell you that you aren’t good enough. Sometimes it is that aching feeling in our chest, the waves of uncertainty when we take a leap of faith.
Rather than feeling intimidated by this, you need to think of healing as growing pains. To truly adapt and learn from your past, you will need to make changes and learn. We must to let ourselves grow out of the pain from the past and close old wounds if we ever want to move on. Healing, similar to fighting, takes strength. It means having to push through that last mile no matter how much you want to turn back. As soon as you finally cross that line and reach the top, you will realize that it was worth it all along.
It might not happen in a week, or even a few months, and maybe you won’t be able to see how much you have truly grown because you are too busy working on yourself. Just don’t discredit yourself for not being able to see this in the mirror right away. Because good things take time, and can show up where we least expect it to.
If I could go back to that conversation I had that day, there is one last piece of advice I would give. Because of of all of the things I am uncertain of, there is one thing that always holds true when it comes to healing.
I can promise you that one day, you will find yourself smiling once again because you’re finally living without the weight of the past holding you down. Because all of those promises you made to yourself will become a garden, a symbol of the growth you have made during the process of moving on. You will no longer feel the need to bury the past away, because it is there in that garden, a reflection of the strength you had in you all along.
And although it takes work, there is no better feeling than taking the challenges life as handed you and turning it into something beautiful.
If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, bi-polar or other mood disorders it’s important that you know one thing: it’s much more common than you think. I know how just scary it is to go through this thinking that you are alone, and especially how overwhelming it can become when you feel as though no one will quite understand. I’m here to tell you that there are people out there who understand, and opening up about it to a close friend or family member can be life changing in many ways. Here’s why.
Communication Is Key
Telling your loved one’s what you are going through is vital if you wish for people to understand you and the reasoning behind your actions.
As someone who has dealt with this first hand, I know what it is like to let anxieties damage relationships with family and friends. Many of us tend to isolate ourselves from those we care about, convincing ourselves that they don’t want to be around us before we give them a chance. When a close friend of mine sensed that something was up, I decided that I should open up about my own anxiety before I let it get in the way of an important friendship. I explained that I’ve always dealt with anxiety and that lately it had reached a high.
Doing this allowed them to understand that I wasn’t pushing them away because I didn’t care about them- that it was actually the opposite. They understood that they hadn’t done anything wrong. That sometimes I might feel distant.
Telling someone you know you can trust means they know when to reach out to you when you need it the most. They’ll understand that sometimes you want their support even when you deny it. They’ll also grow to know when you need your space and that you have limitations that they should not push.
Sometimes We Need To Let It All Out
Before I finally gathered the courage to tell a close friend what I had been going through I kept everything balled up inside. Every single anxiety inducing thought and worry was suppressed, leaving me feeling utterly hopeless. The longer I waited to tell someone the more built up. And for the longest time I had convinced myself that I shouldn’t trouble anyone with my worries. I thought that it wasn’t fair to burden others with my problems, that I could just push those negative thoughts and feelings and that it would be all right.
Keeping everything inside isn’t healthy, or will whatever you are dealing with will go away.
Something I learned from opening up about my problems is that talking about them might not fix it, but it may help bring some clarity and release pent up feelings.
This is always up to you- some of us find it easier to resolve things on our own while others find comfort in seeking advice and sharing.
But what if they look at me differently?
I could lie and say that I am 100% comfortable discussing my experience with mental health and that writing this is easy. But I’m not going to because that is simply not the truth.
My biggest fear before telling those close to me was that they we treat me differently and see me as fragile or weak. Recently I discussed this with a close friend and I discovered something different. They told me that after I told them they were shocked that I was able to function so well. In fact, they said they felt proud knowing that I continued to put myself out there despite the fears holding me back. I was surprised by what my friends told me after I said this. They didn’t think that I was “weak” or “just paranoid” as I thought they would. They understood that my anxiety and depression didn’t define me. I was the same person I always had been- they just knew more about me.
What if you don’t feel ready, or you feel that your family/friends won’t be supportive?
In this situation the best thing you can do is encourage them to do a little research on mental illness- it is amazing how much someone’s perspective can change once they gain more knowledge on the topic. It’s absolutely okay if you want more time, just know that it’s never too late to reach out.
If all else fails and you still feel that they aren’t supportive, know that there is always someone out there who is. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted adult or to the many resources you can find online.
Don’t let your anxiety or depression convince you that you are not worthy of love and support. If there is anything you take from this let it be that you are always worth it and your health should remain your priority. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. It’s up to you how you fight your battle and those who you wish to bring with you.
From a young age we become accustomed to chasing recognition and approval- whether that may be from our classmates or our teachers. It’s not always easy to catch this habit. We rely on others in many forms. Sometimes, it’s asking someone whether or not you should post a photo. Other times it’s something much more serious, such as making a major career change. It happens slowly but surely, and soon enough we rely on the advice of others more than we trust ourselves. In the worst cases, can not even distinguish our true desires with our need to please others.
As comforting as it may be to always take the advice of others, there is a point where we must draw the line. Where we must take actions for ourselves and only ourselves; to make decisions without seeking validation from others. How does this all come back to trusting ourselves? When we make a habit of looking towards others for the green light we begin to feel as though our decisions must always be cleared by others.
Often times we ask our friends what we should wear to an event, or if we should apply to a job, or if they think we are making the right choice… the list goes on and on. Sometimes we need advice to assist us, go provide us with a solution, and sometimes advice from the people we trust can save our lives. This advice can be beneficial and lead us down great paths. Other times, though, we find ourselves asking advice because we want to hear someone to say that we are making the right decision. Although deep down we know that we want to make the choice that we are asking advice on. We are simply seeking validation.
The major problem with constantly seeking the opinions of others is that no one you ask is you. No matter how much you trust someone, their advice will not always fit you. The best compass we can find is in ourselves, guided by what will make us happy and what we feel is right.
What we must learn is that ultimately, no one has the same desires as us, goals as us, or the experience that we have had in life. Even if someone truly believes that they are giving amazing advice to us, it is coming from someone with a different perspective that will not always suit us. When we ask for someone’s advice on a major life decision, we are allowing someone to determine if we are capable of pursuing a goal or not. We must first have faith in ourselves that we know our own strengths, weaknesses, and above all what we want in life. Yet we still place what others say over what we already know.
If we everwish to trust ourselves we must place the value of our own opinions above anyone else. Learning how to make decisions entirely based on ourselves and our personal insight, we give ourselves the power to live with the mentality that we can trust ourselves and live confidently with the choices we make.
For those who regularly read my posts, I have been writing for a year now and want to share some. I enjoy poetry a lot and hope that my words can reach out to others. Background on this poem: I wrote it in a time where my anxiety was at a high and I found a lot of comfort in pouring my words on to paper. Of all of the poetry I have written this one resonates with me because I found a way to create a story using imagery.